This Insane Insomnia Merry-go-round

Lately I’ve been finding it impossible to stay asleep.

Once I wake up I start to toss and turn. Once I start tossing and turning, I fear this will wake my husband, so I usually hop out of bed and try my best to be as quiet as a mouse.

Once I’m out of bed (regardless of the time), that’s when my day begins.

But as hard as it is to stay asleep, it’s not so difficult to know what to do in the wee hours.

This is not such a bad thing to do.

I usually step outside, camera in hand, and gaze at the Moon and the stars and the glory of our little corner of the universe. At this time of year (especially when we’re hit with a late winter chilly blast), I quickly take a few shots before stepping back inside to boil the kettle for a nice hot cuppa.

I then settle down in front of my Mac to upload the photos I’ve just taken, discern those that are worthy of sharing (and those I can delete), and then perhaps ponder what I might say about why I’m out of bed at (what most would consider being) an ungodly hour.

Captured at 1:52 am, August 11, 2020, 50% illumination.

I am wide awake and I know I’ll be tired later.

I’ll drag myself around until I can do so no longer, then I’ll sit on the couch to watch some meaningless drivel on the television knowing full well it will take all of about 5 minutes for my eyes to close.

Twenty minutes later, I’ll be recharged and ready for the rest of what the day holds in store and my power nap will have been the perfect tonic to keep me going, until . . .

Around 8:00 pm when the charge has once again become depleted.

“I have to go to bed”, I’ll say.

Dean will say, “It’s too early, you’ll be awake in the middle of the night again.”

I’ll deny that could possible happen, moan and groan about being bone-weary, and say I don’t care because, by now, every fibre of my being is telling me to get horizontal so I’ll say, “I’m not going to sleep, I’m just going to lay down to read my book.”

But I know . . . And he knows that I know . . . And I know that he knows that I know . . . that I will be asleep before I finish reading one page.

I’ll be blissfully unaware of when he comes into the bedroom, hours later, and I won’t wake as he gently removes my reading glasses and places them (and my book) on my bedside table.

He’ll ease himself into bed, hoping he doesn’t wake me – and he doesn’t.

But then, just a few short hours after he’s come to bed, I wake up and start tossing and turning, and I fear I’ll wake him, so I hop out of bed and try to be as quiet as a mouse.

And this insane insomnia merry-go-round starts all over again.

–⋅ o ♥ o ⋅–

During August, the heart of the Milky Way is directly overhead (around 8:00 pm – 9:00 pm AEST).

This time of year our skies are at their most stunning and with a New Moon on August 18, this is the time to get away from the light pollution of the city and enjoy some serious star gazing.

I guess I’m preparing myself for this time next week when I plan to be somewhere I can really enjoy the show.

I do like to get up early and love the wee hours, but normally that’s around 4:00 am or 4:30 am. This insomnia I’ve been suffering is not normal behaviour for me, but rather a medication side effect that I will be able, and very pleased to, farewell soon.

Author: Clare

Ever-expanding one star at a time, my cosmos is a galaxy of thoughts and creativity where you can find poetry, short stories, photography and so much more.

8 thoughts

  1. I have the same problem at times. I try to keep all technology away from me when I wake. I will get out of bed and read or sit is a quiet room. I do try to not go to bed too early. It’s hard but I do try.

    Great shot my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanx Nancy. And it can be hard to not go to bed early. I used to work nights and sleep through the day and I’m positive I couldn’t do that anymore – give me early nights and early starts any day (and at least seven hours shut eye) 😴 😴

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Deb. I’m still learning how ro yous my camera and hoping I can take a shot of the night sky next week – tripod is ready, mind is in gear, and fingers are crossed.

      Liked by 1 person

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